[waves lapping]
[seagulls squawking]
[French narrator] Follow me
to the bottom of the sea.
To a world that is truly magnifique,
full of wonderful inhabitants,
like Monsieur SpongeBob SquarePants
in a land that is, how do you say… subaquatic.
-[zapping] -[laughs]
♪ Welcome to Bikini Bottom ♪
♪ At the bottom of the ocean ♪
♪ Where everyday The skies are sunny blue ♪
♪ On the ocean floor You'll find everything and more ♪
♪ And there's a place for me and you ♪
♪ Come on down Conch Street 'Cause I'd like you to meet ♪
♪ My sparkling long-time friend Patrick Star ♪
-Hi! -♪ And if you don't mind getting wet ♪
♪ Ooh, you'll love the clarinet Of the multi-limbed maestro Squidward ♪
[discordant clarinet note]
♪ Sandy Cheeks, Pearl Mrs. Puff, Mr. Krabs ♪
♪ If you're hungry Then the Krusty Krab's really fab ♪
♪ Long-time winner of patty of the year ♪
What am I going to do with 500 barrels of root beer?
[narrator] ♪ It's another SpongeBob movie-- ♪
[Plankton] All right! Hold it right there, Frenchie.
This is my movie!
-Darken the skies! -[eerie music playing]
Okay, now, push in.
[music intensifies]
And… cue the title!
[electricity crackling]
All right, keep pushing in.
Closer… closer…
Can you hurry up? I haven't got all day!
Now stop! Ow! Too close!
You trying to kill me? This is the beginning of my movie!
Anyway, ever since I was a little boy,
I've always dreamed of taking over the world!
[yipping]
Tonight's the night, Spot, after 25 years of trial and error.
-[Spot growls] -Yeah, yeah, I know a lot of error.
[groans]
But tonight, Daddy has a world domination plan
called Operation Success!
[laughs] It's got success right in the name.
First, I steal the secret formula to the famous Krabby Patty sandwich
and take over the Krusty Krab from Mr. Krabs.
Then, with the restaurant, I'll soon take over Bikini Bottom.
And after that, I'll take over the whole world!
[evil music playing]
[giggles]
[maniacal laughter]
-[all] ♪ We love Krabby patties ♪ -[Plankton] Seven o'clock, closing time.
Everything's going according to plan.
Karen! Karen?
Karen!
[sinsongy] Computer wife, where are you? I have my mask on!
Let's go! [echoes]
Hmm… [grumbles]
Now, where is she?
Not there. Not there either.
Aha! There she blows!
She's out with the Gal Pals again and forgot all about my plan. Ugh.
Be a good boy, Spot.
-[Spot barks] -[cackles]
[suspenseful music playing]
[Karen] Here's your coffee, ladies.
[Sandy] Wanna go to the movies with us tonight, Karen?
It's a sci-fi rom-com screwball thriller!
-Animated. -With songs.
Ah, sorry, Gal Pals,
but after Plankton fails to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula
yet again tonight,
this supercomputer is going to unleash
a diabolical, all-consuming world domination plan of my own!
That my nubby hubby will love. [laughs]
[laughing nervously]
You go, gadget girl.
Yeah, you're the real evil genius.
Phew! Good thing she's doing it with Plankton
and not on her own or I'd be scared for the world.
[Plankton] Karen!
-Karen! -[Karen sighs]
Speak of the little green devil.
[grunts] Karen, why are you sitting around drinking coffee
when it's time for my plan to steal…
You know… [whispering] Operation Success.
Oh, you mean stealing Krab's secret formula?
Karen! [grumbles]
Sure, I'll help you.
-[all laugh] -[Karen] Good bye, gals.
Gal Pals to the movies! Hee-yaw!
[heroic music playing]
[Plankton] Don't you get it? This is a big night for me.
I'm finally gonna beat that idiot, Krabs!
[laughs] Do you see this, boyo?
We really tricked him into thinking we left.
Hmm? Boyo?
Boyo?
Hmm.
SpongeBob!
Whoa! Sorry, Mr. Krabs!
I've been reading this Super Psychiatrist comic book.
[grumbles]
And it says boundaries are very important.
And this…
Do you have to expose my plans like that in front of your silly friends?
Really? You're worried about being exposed?
You walk around naked all the time.
Doesn't that seem a little… personal and private?
Whaddya-- Don't listen to funny books!
Look, SpongeBob, I'm gonna tell you a rule that allows you to spy on, I-I mean,
observe folks for their own good.
It's called…
invasion of privacies.
Oh, invasion of privacies!
Aye, lad.
Now, you see, Plankton's been weaseling his way into me office for months now.
Setting up a device to steal me Krabby Patty secret formula
And I've been letting him think he's gonna succeed this time.
But he's really just a pitiful pathetic jerk!
Ugh.
A little harsh.
Who cares! Just watch.
…of my nakedness?
[grunts] Alright, let's go. Let's get this show on the road.
Give me a lift and then you can go.
[Karen] So that's it?
I'm just a mechanical elevator for your little green behind?
Oh, honey, don't sell yourself short.
You're the best mechanical elevator a little green behind can have.
What? But you were just up there.
-[giggling] -Ugh, never mind.
Hup! You can roll away now.
[Karen gasps, grumbles]
From here on in, it's all me!
[suspenseful music playing]
[twangy spy music playing]
[chuckles]
♪ If you see me lurking outside your door Better grab your belongings ♪
♪ And swim for shore ♪
♪ You're all a bunch of dumbos Who don't know the score ♪
♪ Well, I went to college And I'm rotten to the core ♪
♪ I'm a marine drifter I'm a first-rate grifter ♪
♪ I could be a shape-shifter If that's what's called for ♪
♪ I'm Plankton ♪
♪ Get out of my way, I'm Plankton ♪
♪ Better do as I say ♪
♪ You always blow it ♪
♪ Don't you know it? ♪
♪ Time for me to take the lead ♪
♪ If you listen to me For just once in your life ♪
♪ Chances are we will succeed ♪
[spy music continues]
[Karen and Plankton] ♪ P-L-A-N-K-T-O-N ♪
♪ P-L-A-N-K-T-O-N ♪
♪ Plankton, Plankton, Plankton, Plankton ♪
♪ The secret formula Is waiting for me here ♪
♪ And you bet your boots I'm gonna get it ♪
♪ If you underestimated my twisted brain ♪
♪ Then for sure you're gonna regret it ♪
♪ Taking over the world ♪
♪ Today's the day Sweet victory is just a pull away ♪
♪ I'm Plankton, the biggest evil genius ♪
♪ I'm Plankton The smartest villain alive ♪
♪ I'm Plankton I'm gonna get what I want ♪
♪ I'm Plankton I'm taking over the world ♪
Pack your bags, secret formula.
You're coming home to a new papa.
Huh? What's this?
Some kind of invisible force field?
Sorry, Plankton! Bugs like you belong outside.
[laughs] Say hi to the missus for me.
[Plankton screaming]
[groans, grunts]
[babbles loudly]
[sighs]
Honey, I'm home…
Wha?!
[all munching]
Huh?
Wait a minute, what happened to my Chum Bucket?
What?
And what are all these customers doing here?
[customers chomping]
[Plankton] Karen!
Oh, you're finally here.
Surprise!
What in Neptune's nostrils have you done to my restaurant?
Well, I calculated that if everybody actually ate at the Chum Bucket,
you wouldn't need the Krabby Patty secret formula.
-So I gave the place a contemporary touch. -Huh?
It's a fully modern, automated backslash home-cooking fusion restaurant.
And it's open 24 hours with plans to expand into the known universe.
And that's not all. Wait till you see this!
And what's this supposed to be?
It's chum.
I just added a little sugar, some pizzazz,
and now it tastes like world domination!
Where's the evil, Karen?
Where is the evil? I don't see it!
It's still fast food.
[in menacing voice] There's the evil.
[gulping]
Ahh! Amazing!
See? They love it!
I don't care if they marry it!
None of these cockamamie changes are going to help me steal the secret formula.
Your idea hasn't worked for 25 years!
Why don't you try stealing some brains for a change?
I don't need brains.
I need an assistant who listens to me!
Assistant? I thought we were partners in crime!
Listen, if you don't try my idea this time, then it's the last straw.
Think about it.
Okay, let me think about it.
Hmm.
Mmm.
Ugh!
Hmm…
Nope! I hate this and I'm taking it all down!
Don't you dare!
Oh, I dare! [cackles]
I'm daring, Karen! Get a load of me!
I'm daring!
[laughs] Double dare! Triple dare!
[laughs]
Quadruple dare!
[grumbles]
Ooh! I hate this!
I don't like this!
[cackling]
Or this!
This or this!
And I hate this!
No!
[grumbles]
No!
Alright, listen up!
I want everybody out of here right now!
[customers chewing]
[grunts]
[cackles]
Yeah! Yeah! Oh yeah!
Now you're listening!
[laughs]
[loud slurping]
Mmm. Wow, Plankton! This is delicious!
And I love the fire show!
Hotfoot it outta here!
Ooh!
[screaming] No! Whoa, whoa! Ah! Whoa!
-[screaming] -[sizzling]
Wow! [vocalizing in pain]
Ah… phew!
-[metal clashing] -[Karen and Plankton argue loudly]
Huh?
Uh-oh, that sounds personal and private.
[Mr. Krabs] Psst, boyo.
Remember, they call it invasion of privacies.
[laughs] Thank you, Mr. Krabs
-You're welcome! -[chuckles]
[Karen grumbles] Plankton!
You know what your problem is?
Are you even listening to me?
Of course I'm listening.
I'd love some coffee.
Five creams, nine sugars, and stir it clockwise.
-[electricity crackling] -[grumbles]
[Karen] You're such a jerk!
I'm gonna do something I should have done a long time ago!
[gasps] No, Karen! Don't!
Can we talk about this?
I'm done talking!
Karen, please don't do this!
We don't know the consequences!
I don't care!
[Plankton screaming]
Don't swing your purse like that, honey.
Swing your purse like this! [whooping]
Hi, Plank-- Whoa!
Whoa! [grunting]
-High again! -[Plankton screams]
[laughs]
-Oh, what's happening? -Huh?
Whoa! [straining]
Huh?
[belt creaks, snaps]
Nooo! Spatty!
[dramatic music playing]
What? She magnetized the Chum Bucket?!
[Karen] Plankton!
[gasps]
[whimpering]
[Plankton whimpers]
Our evil alliance is through!
[grunts] Ah!
[both gasp]
[Karen grunting]
[both whimper]
[pained groaning]
Holy mama pajama!
[maniacal laughter]
[electricity buzzing]
[powering up sound]
[SpongeBob] Whoa!
-[beeping] -Whoa!
Ah!
[growls]
[grunts]
[Karen snarls]
You've got three heads?
Aw, the widdle green man can count! [scoffs]
Let me introduce myself.
I'm Super Snarky Karen.
-And this… -Is Super Smart Karen.
-And this… -…is Super Evil Karen!
Super, super, super!
Where'd you get those names? The supermarket?
[chuckles] Supermarket.
[Evil Karen] Let's blast him! Say goodbye!
[roar]
Hold on, Evil!
There are steps to be taken for world domination.
World domination? That's my thing!
Not anymore, green bean.
We're gonna do what you could never do.
What do you mean?
You might want to take notes during this song.
Song? When did you have time to write a song?
[synth-pop music playing]
♪ My power is beyond compare ♪
♪ There's nothing you can do to prepare ♪
♪ No escaping my malware ♪
♪ I will crush you ♪
♪ I shall destroy you ♪
♪ Now's the time I'm gonna take control ♪
♪ Watch Bikini Bottom blow ♪
♪ I'm gonna rise up like a hurricane ♪
♪ Take your final breath away ♪
♪ Fill the world with hurt and pain ♪
-♪ Say my name ♪ -♪ Karen ♪
♪ I'm the real evil mastermind ♪
♪ I rule the world Through space and time ♪
♪ Take it all and make it mine ♪
-♪ Say my name ♪ -♪ Karen ♪
[evil laughter]
♪ I'll take over all of planet Earth ♪
♪ Then I'll expand across the universe ♪
♪ Take it all for all it's worth ♪
♪ I want everything, give me everything ♪
♪ Now's the time I'm gonna take control ♪
♪ Let the devastation roll ♪
♪ Ha! It's over, Plankton ♪
♪ I don't need your tiny hands ♪
♪ And your never-ending failed plans ♪
♪ You thought you were so devious ♪
♪ But it's me, I'm the real evil genius ♪
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
[cackling]
♪ I'm gonna rise up like a hurricane ♪
♪ Take your final breath away ♪
♪ Fill the world with hurt and pain ♪
-♪ Say my name ♪ -♪ Karen ♪
♪ I am the real evil mastermind ♪
♪ I rule the world Through space and time ♪
♪ Take it all and make it mine ♪
-♪ Say my name ♪ -♪ Karen ♪
[Karens cackle]
♪ Karen! ♪
What makes you think you can do all that without me?
Alright already! What are we gonna do with him, ladies?
-I say-- -Blast him!
I say we dissect him.
[whimpers] And I say… run!
[Karens laugh]
[suspenseful music playing]
He's getting away!
But it is important that we complete our battle station first.
Hey, ladies, what do you say we pick up some takeout?
[cackling]
[snoring] Money, money, money, money.
[snoring] Money, money--
[loud explosion]
[gasps] What's happening? What's happening?
What's happening is, I ran out of ketchup.
Patrick, how'd you get in here?
We're closed!
Ah! [grunts]
Where are you going, me beloved Krusty Krab?
[straining] No!
[dramatic music playing]
[thudding, clattering]
-Whoa! -[splats]
Hmm? Yay! Ketchup!
[chomping loudly]
Patrick, stop yer salivating all over me windows!
-Hello! -Ow!
Goodbye!
[customer screaming]
[Karens cackling]
Oh, is that Karen?
She's gone full hydra! [gasps, grunts]
Time to rally the Civil Defense!
-[beeping] -[siren blaring]
-People of Bikini Bottom! -Oh!
[Karen] If you do not wish to be harmed, abandon all homes,
businesses, and public restrooms.
[laughs]
Breaking news! There appears to be a giant--
There appears to be a giant mag--
-[clears throat] -[water sloshes]
There appears to be a giant magnet
sucking everything metal across Bikini Bottom! [screams]
Thank you! I love these new stilettos!
Oh! Wait!
[yelps]
This isn't my size!
-[lively piano music playing] -Huh?
[whimpers, screams]
[cutlery clattering]
[magnetic droning]
Yeah, I'm not cleaning this up!
[SpongeBob screaming]
[suspenseful music playing]
-[Plankton] Whoa! -[SpongeBob grunts]
Potatoes.
Why did it have to be potatoes?
-[loud rumbling] -[whimpering]
Plankton, what did you do to make Karen so angry?
I have no idea!
Why are you doing this to me? [squeals]
Why? [sobbing]
Think. There must be something. Something in your past.
Well, if there is, I must have blocked it out.
Ooh! I read all about that in my Super Psychiatrist comic book.
I even sent away for this
Junior Psychiatrist Kit!
I can psychoanalyze you!
I don't need a shrink. I'm shrunk enough already!
We'll explore where your relationship with Karen went wrong…
-Ugh. -…get you two back together,
and save Bikini Bottom!
[rumbling]
Hmm. Wait a minute. Who knows?
Maybe analysis will help me find a way to destroy…
I mean, uh, to help me understand Karen and our relationship!
Okay, go ahead. Shrink away, Doc!
[lively music playing]
Please, lie down.
[grumbles]
[in Austrian accent] Now, so, let's begin at the beginning, shall we?
I have to warn you, I've never been able to be hypnotized…
[groaning]
Ever since I was a little kid, I've always wanted to rule the world.
[lively bluegrass music playing]
♪ I was born pure evil First word was tyranny ♪
♪ Six thousand brothers Six thousand sisters ♪
♪ Then there was little old me ♪
♪ There's no doubt I came out The smartest of the bunch ♪
♪ But if you met my family You'd know that ain't sayin' much ♪
♪ The family biz was moonfizz But that buzz weren't for me ♪
♪ I dreamt of global domination ♪
♪ Sweet autocracy ♪
♪ But my family didn't get me I was a stranger in my home ♪
♪ Despite being so surrounded Well, I always felt alone ♪
♪ Had no bud, no best pal My future was condemned ♪
♪ Till I took a tater and a calculator And I made myself a friend ♪
♪ I made a new friend I made a new friend ♪
Can you hear me?
Bubble once for "yes," and twice for "no."
[bubble pops]
[giggles] Incredible!
-Do you have a name? -[bubbling]
[gasps]
[rapid beeping]
Karen! Your name is Karen!
[chuckles] My friend Karen! Yay!
[bluegrass music continues]
[Plankton] ♪ We did everything together ♪
♪ We even dressed the same ♪
♪ That spud was my best buddy ♪
♪ Karen was her name ♪
-♪ My world was so much greater ♪ -[flatulence]
-♪ With that tater in my life ♪ -[laughter]
♪ Never thought a vegetable Would one day be my wife ♪
♪ With Karen there to share my dreams I never felt alone ♪
♪ My calculator, my sweet potato A friendship had been sown ♪
-♪ I made a new friend ♪ -From a tuber!
-♪ I made a new friend ♪ -And a computer!
-♪ I made a new friend ♪ -Literally!
♪ I made a new friend ♪
[whooping] Wa-hoo!
Hello and goodbye!
Me and my best friend Karen are going to college!
-[heroic music playing] -College?
[laughter]
-Go ahead and laugh. -[music stops]
We're majoring in world domination.
And when we're done, we will destroy you all!
See you at the holidays!
Goodbye, son.
Well, good luck, son. And don't forget, always watch out for feet.
[laughter]
[Plankton grunts]
[bluegrass music resumes, fades]
[whimpering softly]
Plankton, zat was wunderbar!
Huh? [yells]
So, you were lonely and you made a friend.
One thing is for certain. This potato represents Karen.
No, you idiot.
The potato is nothing but a power source.
The calculator is the brain!
Huh? [gasps]
And I remember where I left it.
Somewhere back at the university.
[giggling]
Looks like I'm going back to college!
Yes, yes. Und college will be a good place to continue our therapy.
-[gasps] -[Karens cackling]
[epic music playing]
We won't be continuing anything if we don't get out of here!
[both grunt]
[suspenseful music playing]
Oh!
-Ah! -[music stops]
[panting]
How do we get out of here?
[Plankton] Oh, I don't know. The exit, maybe!
[suspenseful music playing]
SpongeBob! Grab something metal!
Whoa!
Oh. Phew. [gasps]
[whimpering]
[yelps]
Huh? [screams]
[SpongeBob screaming]
[gasps, screams]
[all screaming]
[fish] Krabby Patty!
[screaming]
And now for the main event…
[laughs]
[Mr. Krabs] Attention!
[grumbles]
-My Neptune. -[fish screaming]
[Mr. Krabs] Oh, my good Neptune!
Load the root beer! Move, move, move!
Ready?
Aim for the hydra!
[breathing deeply]
Come on, you got this, Bobby.
Steady!
Fire!
[suspenseful music playing]
[root beer fizzing]
[Karens powering down]
Aha! A direct hit!
-[cheering] -We won!
-She's down! -Look!
[Mr. Krabs] Huh?
[Karens cackling]
[Mr. Krabs] Oh, no.
[ominous music playing]
Bring it on, you bumbling bucket of bolts!
The brave fish of Bikini Bottom aren't afraid of you!
Are you, boys?
-Boys? Huh? -[Squidward screams]
[yelps]
Anchors away, Bikini Bottom.
I'm not going to stand--
…for this.
[French narrator] A few moments later…
[SpongeBob screaming]
Whoa!
Uh-huh, we're here.
Good old BSU.
[gasps] BS me? Plankton, language!
No, you moron.
-Oh! -Bikini State University.
Oh!
This is where Karen and I furthered our academic studies.
This is also where I upgraded her.
And I bet her old parts are still around here somewhere.
If I can only remember where.
Quick, man! Hypnotize me! Put me under!
Ooh, certainly.
Hmm. Now let us focus on your subconsciousness.
-Eh? -Focus. Focus.
Check this out, Plankton.
Und walk the dog.
Quit horsing around and put me under! [groans]
Oopsie.
[groans]
Going to college was a dream come true.
[electronic music playing]
Just going through those ivy gates of academia gave me chills.
Ooh!
This is it, Karen! We made it!
We're actually in college!
[beeping]
It is G-R-8, isn't it?
Finally, a place to confer with my intellectual peers.
Hello, fellow students. How's it hanging, classmates?
-[student] Did you hear something? -[groans]
[Plankton screams]
[Plankton whimpering] Feet!
Pappy was right! [grunts]
[Plankton] As it turned out, there was no world domination class.
-Huh? -[beeping]
So, we created our own curriculum.
Our first project was to build a freeze ray.
I tried in science class.
I tried in art class.
I tried in every class!
College life was hard.
-Phew! -[student] Spring break!
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
-Yeah! -[groans]
The only solace I had during those difficult years was my Karen.
And having a computer that can do my homework didn't hurt either.
Hmm. "Marg-gleblorp fa ziggle num lump"?
Hmm…
If I want to stop failing, I'll have to give her an upgrade.
Oh, Karen, I've got a surprise for you!
Ta-da! A brand new upgrade!
I used four different computer chips to mold Karen's multi-faceted personality.
A smart chip to keep her informed.
An evil chip so she'd be as evil as me.
[cackling]
A snarky chip so she'd be sassy.
And an empathy chip so she could feel my pain.
[electricity crackling]
Hello? Karen, can you hear me?
Come on, Karen. You can do it.
Speak to me!
[babbling]
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
I… I… I… I can speak!
I have a voice!
Thank you, Sheldon.
She can talk.
She can talk!
[laughs] Alright, take it down a notch, thunder tonsils.
Oh, and there's that snark.
We won't need your old parts anymore.
[Plankton cackles]
[Plankton] So we got right to work on our genius freeze ray.
[both] It works!
-[Karen] It works! -[both laugh]
-[upbeat rock music playing] -[door opens]
Why is my room frozen?
And who are you?
Uh, Plankton? [grunts]
I've been your roommate for four years!
I've been living with a cockroach for how long?
-Eww! -[zapping]
[Karen] Freeze, mister! No one steps on my Sheldon.
Karen, you're an evil genius!
[both laugh]
Let's hide this popsicle.
Partners…
…in crime!
Now let's supersize this baby and take over the world!
[rock music fades]
[giggles]
[Plankton chuckles]
Plankton, that was beautiful.
You und Karen worked together.
But we still haven't discovered what went wrong.
Blah, blah, blah.
Who cares? Karen's old parts are in my dorm room!
Come on, SpongeBob!
[grunts] Let's go!
-Yah! -[SpongeBob neighs]
[Plankton groaning]
[Plankton] Whoa!
[whimpers, grunts]
[gasps]
Oh! There it is!
[chuckles] Ah, my old college closet.
[knocking rhythmically]
Ooh!
[SpongeBob yelps]
[Plankton laughs]
-[laughs] -[Plankton] Look!
My old stuff! My old textbooks!
Test tubes.
Sandwiches.
-Hey, my old roommate. -Huh? [grunts]
[roommate shivering]
Why is your old roommate frozen?
Oh, him?
Uh, something he's doing for, uh, science class.
Yeah! [grunts] I found it!
The original Karen.
Whoa!
-[flatulence] -Huh?
Yeesh!
Looks like the potato's gone rotten.
[flatulence]
[sighs]
Like our relationship.
[flatulence]
[sighs]
Uh, what about this guy?
[muffled] Help… me.
Well, great catching up with you, roomie!
-Wait, no, no. -Bye.
-Good luck with that class. -Anything but the closet!
SpongeBob, now I know how to stop Karen's madness!
All I need to do is get into the Chum Bucket's basement.
[rumbling]
[magnetic droning]
-Whoa! -Oh!
Let's roll!
[grunts]
[Plankton] Mush!
[suspenseful music playing]
[both screaming]
[both grunting in pain]
[both screaming]
[grunts] That was easy.
[grunts]
[laughs]
[coughs, gasps]
Yeah, I never did finish those stairs.
[spotlights clanging]
Whoa!
[eerie music playing]
Wow, Plankton.
I remember these inventions.
[Plankton] Ah!
They're from all your old attempts to steal the Krabby Patty formula.
Oh! [laughs]
So this would be kind of your basement of failures, huh?
What? Do these look like failures to you?
[groans] Now leave me alone!
Hmm. Where was I?
Let's see. I'll need eight capacitors.
Ahh! Whoa! Oh!
-Three diodes. Six transistors. -[babbling happily]
-[grumbles] -Whoa!
[grunts]
Oh!
All hail Plankton.
How may I serve you, master?
I command you to bring me some pliers.
Wouldn't it be cool if this thing really worked?
Agh! Just go find them!
Aye, aye, Plankton! [babbling laughter]
[Plankton grumbles]
Plankton, are these pliers?
Ah! That's carbonated-- [groans]
…handsome gas.
-Now put it back. -Okie dokie!
Ooh. Hey, Plankton.
-Is this a plier? -No, that's…
-…ugly sludge. -There you go. It's a banana.
Agh!
Nothing here is just a banana.
Don't touch anything without asking me first!
Yes, sir.
Hmm…
Hey, Plankton.
Can I touch this? Sorry, Plankton, I have to touch this.
How about if I touch this one with my pinkie?
[echoing] Plankton! Is this important?
How about this thing? Hmm…
[sniffs] Ta-da! Plankton, can I touch this?
-Or this, or this? -No!
How about this thing?
-Don't you touch that! -What?
Whoa! Wee!
-Is this important? -[zapping]
[grunts]
That freeze ray tank was our first attempt at world domination.
Oh, so you were still working together.
We could be getting closer to your breakthrough.
I'll b-b-break your head through a window
if you don't stop swinging that thing at my face.
Brilliant there, Plankton. I will swing your face in front of it.
[grumbling]
So, after college, what happened to you und Karen?
We were two evil partners, ready to take over the w-world.
Our freeze ray was such a success, we decided to supersize it.
[chuckles] Yes.
[upbeat rock music playing]
[engine revving]
[wheels screeching]
Private Karen, activate the thrusters.
Aye, aye, Captain.
And so, our mega ice tank was locked, loaded, and ready to invade the surface.
[Plankton grunts]
Yeah!
Equalize pressure! Prepare to surface!
Let's storm the world!
[Plankton cackles]
Oh yeah, there's something!
Ice it, baby!
[child giggles]
As it turned out, while I thought the BSU students were large,
the surface world creatures were gargantuan.
[loud roaring]
[Plankton] Giant feet! Retreat! Retreat!
[child laughing]
[loud roaring]
-[Karen screams] -[Plankton grunts]
[both screaming]
-[Plankton whimpering] -[splashing]
[water bubbling]
[rock music ends]
[Plankton groans]
Go on, take a good look, Karen.
This is what a flopping failure looks like.
Oh, you're not a flopping failure.
You just need a little brain food to figure this out.
Let's try that greasy spoon across the street.
[heavenly choir sings]
[Plankton whimpers]
Come on, eat something, you'll feel better.
Ugh.
How can I eat this garbage
when what I'm really hungry for is global conquest?
Hey, Mr. Krabs, your Krabby Patties are amazing.
Aye, thanks to my secret formula, me patties will take over the world.
Huh? [gasps]
[suspenseful music playing]
I got an idea! It's the greatest idea I've ever had!
First, I steal the secret formula for that sandwich.
Then, I take over that restaurant.
Then, I take over this town.
And then, I take over the world!
[laughing]
That's your idea?
[sighs]
Wait, you're serious?
And this two-bit bucket will be the front for my secret headquarters.
Yours? I thought it was ours.
Hmm. Why not?
It's not like we'll be doing this for the next 25 years.
Let's do it.
[dramatic music playing]
[zapping]
[loud clanging]
[SpongeBob] Plankton, that's it!
Your obsession with the Krabby Patty secret formula
made Karen go wacka-doodle-ding-dong.
Plankton?
-[Plankton] You're right, SpongeBob. -[crackling]
[SpongeBob] Plankton? I can teach you to apply skills
that will help you in your… current situation.
I have my own skills that I've applied to the current situation.
Um…
And without your Junior Psychiatrist Kit,
I would never have found Karen's old parts!
[energy pulsing]
[gulps]
So thanks, Doc.
Check is in the mail.
Oh.
[whimpering]
I think you better run.
[giggles, cackles]
[screaming]
-[suspenseful music playing] -[Plankton cackling]
[screaming]
Whoa! [grunts]
[gasps]
[laughs evilly]
[robotic voice] New Karen likes little sponge boy.
-Aw, thanks. -[Plankton chuckles]
Wait, I thought we were working towards getting you back together with old Karen.
But you made a new Karen?
That's right!
I built this ultimate Karen to destroy the old Karen and get that secret formula!
Wait, but what about Bikini Bottom?
-I don't care about Bikini Bottom. -Huh?
[grunts] Follow that battle station!
[New Karen] Follow that battle station!
[dramatic music playing]
Hey, wait up!
[Plankton] Oh, Karen! Sweetheart!
I'd like you to meet New Karen.
Hello!
Heavy armor, anti-tank guns, freeze ray, capable of mass destruction.
[New Karen] Enough to end you.
Less talk, more carnage!
[laughs] I love a good smackdown. From a safe distance, of course.
[cackles]
-You're going down, Old Karen! -[ringing]
[bell clangs]
[robotic grunting]
[grunting]
[New Karen] Guh-r-r-r!
[growling]
[ape-like grunting]
[robotic snarling]
[Karen growling]
[intense rock music playing]
Oh, yeah!
[intense music building]
[loud explosion]
[romantic accordion playing]
[whimpers]
Oh, no, no! What are you doing?
It is only logical, since you made New Karen from Old Karen parts…
[all] We are all Karen.
[cackling] We're going to be stronger than ever, thanks to you.
[New Karen laughs robotically]
[whimpers]
Once again, it's time to run!
[Karens cackling]
[SpongeBob screaming]
[both whimpering]
Oh.
[gasps] Bikini Bottom.
[somber music playing]
Gone.
It's all gone.
Our homes, our lives…
Everything.
Yeah, she really messed up the old place.
Plankton, you caused this.
You… you… you lied to me.
You were never interested in getting back with Karen.
And now look what's happened.
You did this! You! This is all your fault!
No, it's not.
Plankton,
my analysis is complete.
An overthrown sense of self-impertinence, pre-oscillation with fantasies of power,
disregarding for others, instability to handle criticism,
cycle-delusion, und borderline physicality.
Let me put this simply.
Mr. Krabs was right.
You're just a pitiful, pathetic jerk!
I'll leave now.
[melancholic music playing]
I'm going to be with my real friends.
-[sobbing] -Wait, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob?
Don't leave me alone!
Ugh.
[whimpers]
Maybe the kid's right.
Maybe I am a jerk.
[melancholy piano melody playing]
♪ Well, I've been called A lot of things in my life ♪
♪ A dope, a ninny, a twit ♪
♪ A pea-brained, lame-brained, no-brained Know-it-all little pip ♪
♪ An obnoxious dunce, an old goon ♪
♪ A bone-headed puny buffoon ♪
♪ But no one's ever told me How much they cared ♪
♪ I thought they were too stupid ♪
♪ To see the genius Of this little squirt ♪
♪ But on reflection Their lack of affection ♪
♪ Is because it turns out I'm a jerk ♪
♪ Can I go on ignoring their words ♪
♪ When everything They're saying is true? ♪
♪ That's why I'm always alone ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm a jerk ♪
Wait, but that's me.
That's who I am, baby!
-[dramatic rock music playing] -♪ I'm a jerk ♪
♪ I'm a jerky-jerk ♪
♪ I don't care what they think I don't care who I hurt ♪
-[sizzling] -♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ I'm obnoxious and annoying ♪
♪ I'm toxic, soul destroying ♪
♪ I'm a jerk ♪
♪ I'm a jerky-jerk ♪
-[clang] -[music stops]
[whimpers] Uh-oh.
[yelps]
Hey, jerk.
Thanks for the new addition.
Hello.
-Huh? -Let me blast him right now!
-Oh! -Gotcha cornered.
[Evil Karen laughs]
[inhales deeply]
[sighs]
Alright.
I know when I've lost.
Just give me the dignity of a blindfold.
Whoops.
[soft whimper] Just a moment.
That's better.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Go ahead. Destroy me already!
With pleasure!
[energy building]
[Karens cackling]
-[zapping] -[epic music playing]
-[music fades] -[ice crackling]
[engine revving]
[all whooping]
-[epic music resumes] -[tires screech]
[SpongeBob] Woo-hoo!
Ah, shrimp! Let's go after him!
-Let him go. -Why?
Living with his failures will be worse than death for him.
Besides, there's nothing left for us here.
Now that our battle station is complete.
[dramatic music playing]
-Which hemisphere should we invade first? -Who cares?
As long as I get to blast, blast, blast!
Huh. That's funny.
I never pictured death being so windy.
-SpongeBob? -You're still a jerk.
-But I couldn't just leave you. -Huh?
Ugh. The Gal Pals. That figures.
Why did you interfere?
-I had her right where I wanted her. -Dag nab it! We saved your life!
[screaming]
[lively action music playing]
Well, I already faced death once today.
Bring it on.
Mrs. Puff, you're going awfully fast. Wanna slow down?
[grunts]
Mrs. Puff, there's a boat.
Mrs. Puff, there's a boat there! Mrs. Puff, boat!
Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! Boat, boat, boat!
Mrs. Puff!
[echoing screaming]
[continues screaming]
Oh… wait, what is this place?
Oh, wow.
Is this your secret headquarters?
[gasps] Are you guys superheroes?
Of course not.
[buzzing]
Woo-hoo!
[Plankton screams]
Welcome to our underground getaway!
Where there's nothing but relaxation, conversation…
[groans]
…and a touch of class.
[kettle whistling]
[all slurping]
Plankton, Plankton! You gotta try this brown water.
Wow! I love it! [babbling]
Never mind all that, Plankton!
What in tarnation did you do to our friend Karen?
Yeah, why is she so angry?
And why does she have four heads?
SpongeBob, help me! Back me up!
Help yourself to some of this stuff! I love it!
[sighs, yelps]
It is your fault Karen turned into a monster!
I bet you never even loved her.
That's not true!
-[grumbling] -SpongeBob, psychoanalyze me.
They gotta hear this.
[babbling, slurping]
Whoa, whoa!
My mind is processing complex equations and I can see infinity.
[grumbles]
Fine, I'll hypnotize myself!
[babbling]
Karen and I… were totally in love.
[sniffs] Mmm. Smells like this batch of chum
is just about ready to be served to the public, Karen-Cakes.
Try some, my little Planky-Poo.
[choking loudly, gulping]
[gasping, retching]
So, how does it taste?
[gulps] Like boiled death!
It's perfect!
[chuckles] Chum fight!
[Karen laughs]
[laughs]
-Oh, you! -Oh, you!
[Karen] Ah, gotcha!
-[both laughing] -[Karen] Ooh! Uh-oh!
[Karen sighs]
Oh, I almost forgot.
I got a new computer part for you today.
And you can install this upgrade yourself.
[gasps]
Karen, will you marry me?
[gasps]
Oh, yes, Sheldon!
I'd love to be your computer wife!
[straining] Oh, Karen! You've made me the happiest copepod in the--
[screaming] Ouch!
[smooching]
What a woman!
So, Karen and I got hitched.
-[romantic rock music playing] -[smooching]
And it was the beginning of a beautiful fairy-tale marriage.
[Mrs. Puff] Huh! "Fairy-tale" is right.
[all] Stop the flashback!
We see Karen for coffee seven days a week,
and she complains about you every time.
So, what really happened tonight?
I had just finished chasing everyone
out of the Chum Bucket with a flamethrower when…
Karen, please don't do this!
We don't know the consequences!
I don't care!
[Plankton] No, no, no!
-Yah! -[whimpers, grunts]
Not the empathy chip!
Please put it back!
Take out the snarky chip! I hate that one!
Gah!
[whimpers]
What?! She removed her empathy chip?
[all screaming]
Without that chip, she can't feel anything for anyone.
No wonder our Gal Pal isn't herself.
[kettle whistling]
Oh, so that's what this is.
I thought it was a mint. [laughs]
[all groan]
Aha! Give me that!
All I have to do is put this chip back inside Karen,
and everything goes back to normal!
Forget the chip! Karen wasn't happy with the way things were.
If you love her like you say you do, apologize!
Can you do that?
Can you just say you're sorry?
Of course I can!
-[SpongeBob slurping coffee] -[Plankton] Ah!
[clears throat] I'm…
sh-sh-sh…
Ah… [clears throat] I'm sha-rah…
Hmm? I'm… sha… sha…
Oh, he's hopeless.
If anyone needs an empathy chip, it's him.
-Almost got it. -That there's a dandy idea, Pearl!
-What? -Brace yourself, partner!
Here come the feels!
[grunting in pain]
-I don't feel anything. -[all groaning]
Oh, now I do.
[babbling softly]
[sitar playing]
Wee!
[mystical flute melody playing]
[gasps]
[Karen] Surprise!
-Welcome to the new Chum Bucket. -[voices overlapping]
[psychedelic rock playing]
Karen! Your name is Karen!
Aww.
Freeze, mister! No one steps on my Sheldon.
Oh, yeah!
Oh! Yes, Sheldon. I'd love to be your computer wife.
And this two-bit bucket will be the front for my secret headquarters.
Uh-oh.
-Are you even listening to me? -Of course I'm listening.
-I'd love some coffee. -[grumbles] You're such a jerk!
No!
I'm gonna do something I should have done a long time ago.
[squawking]
[Karen] Our evil alliance is through!
[Karen's voice echoes]
[screaming]
[bird screaming]
Huh?
[bell dinging]
Whoa! [screaming]
Karen, wait!
Karen?
[screaming]
[growling]
[Plankton screaming]
Oh!
Karen!
I love you, Karen!
Karen, wait!
Huh?
[creature barking]
[Karen] I'm gonna stomp you like a bug, Planky-Poo!
[yelps] Karen, wait!
I love you!
[grunts]
[Karen cackles]
[Plankton] Come back! I'm…
[gasps] …sorry!
[gasps] I said it!
I gotta find Karen to beg her forgiveness, tell her I'm sorry,
and win back her love!
Aw, he gets it!
I do get it! I do, I do!
[laughs] I'm coming for you, baby!
Whoa there, little doggy.
She'll exterminate you on sight. You're gonna need help from the…
[all] Gal Pals!
We gotta get this little love bug to Karen before she breaches the surface.
Aww! I'm a widdle love bug.
Group hug! Here I come!
Gal Pals! [grunts]
[Sandy] There she is.
[gasps]
[menacing music playing]
This is gonna be totally harder than I thought.
Okay, ladies, this here is gonna be our most difficult mission yet.
It'll require extreme skill and concentration.
There is absolutely zero room for funny business.
-[SpongeBob laughs] -[Plankton squeals]
[both humming Hawaiian music]
Hey, knock it off!
Y'all wanna get caught by Mega-Karen?
This is serious!
[dramatic music playing]
[babbling laughter]
[all] Whoa!
Look! Up there!
Okay, buckle up, y'all!
[playful babbling]
Huh? [chuckles]
[SpongeBob] Whoa!
[humming]
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Oh, no! My friend!
Good luck with the mission!
No!
Huh?
Oh! I'm back, baby!
[gulps]
[straining]
Sorry for being… nosy!
[both laughing]
Hey. Be quiet.
Yeow!
Booby traps! I hate booby traps!
-Pearl, did you bring the blowtorch? -Sure did.
[gulping]
[high-pitched whistling]
[groaning]
[Plankton] Ding dong!
Permission to come aboard?
-[cackling] -Think of it.
This entire battle station is powered by…
-[New Karen] To-to-tomatoes! -No. Potatoes.
Correcting… Potato!
[Smart Karen] People underestimate the potato's potential.
-[New Karen] Potato! -Yet one single spud contains…
Contains more power than a nuclear reactor.
Blah, blah, blah.
Nevertheless, it is true.
[New Karen] Potato… Potato… Potato!
[Karen over PA] Five minutes to surface.
Potato! Potato! Potato!
[all] Shut up, New Karen!
-[all gasp] -[alarm beeping]
It appears we have intruders. The Gal Pals.
-Blast them! -Blast, blast, blast!
You got a better idea?
[New Karen] Potato!
[overlapping chatter]
-[Karen] That's enough! -[powering down]
[Karen] Hydra Karen, separate and destroy the Gal Pals!
[Hydra Karen] Separating!
[dramatic music playing]
Well, what are you waiting for?
Go get 'em!
I'm gonna blast me some Gal Pals!
-[robotic laugh] -[evil laugh]
-[PA] Four minutes to surface. -[all gasp]
-[Sandy] It's Bikini Bottom. -[Pearl] But it's all mixed up!
Okay, Gal Pals, let's go!
[all] Stealth mode!
[all grunting]
[both] ♪ Stealth skipping, stealth skipping ♪
[gasps] The Krusty Krab!
[heavenly choir singing]
[babbling happily]
-[Gal Pals] Aah! -[grunts]
Careful, SpongeBob! It could be a trap!
-[splat] -Yeah!
A grease trap! [yelps]
[Plankton] Whoa!
[gasps] Wow, the Krusty Krab's all topsy-turvy!
I love what Krabs has done with the place.
Especially all this blood everywhere.
Huh? Blood!
There's blood all over the floor!
Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood!
Huh. Ketchup?
Huh?
-Huh? -Patrick!
SpongeBob! [straining]
[Patrick laughs]
[both chuckle]
Oh! Ketchup!
My tummy feels funny.
Oh, I hear your tummy!
Goochie-goo! [blows raspberry]
[laughing]
He's cool. Empathy overload.
We gotta get him to Karen and save Bikini Bottom!
Huh?
[all screaming]
[SpongeBob and Patrick scream, grunt]
Hi, guys, look who I found!
Now it's a party!
[Snarky Karen] Oh, it's a party, alright!
Four Karens, but none of them are mine!
Wait a minute!
There's my baby. Karen!
I love you!
Destroy them all!
Aw, she remembered my catchphrase!
SpongeBob, hurry! Get Plankton up to Karen!
He has to apologize before we reach the surface!
Okie dokie.
And now, we'll take care of these counterfeit Karens!
Attack on the count of three! One…
Potato!
Uh-oh.
-Two, three. -[cackling]
[gasps]
[all grunt]
[all snarling]
[Karens grunt]
[dramatic music playing]
[music slows, distorts]
[music stops]
[music resumes]
Gal Pals, we're doing "Batter Up."
Batter up!
And here's the pitch!
[screams]
-[grunts] -[Karens snarling]
[clattering]
[Sandy] Agh!
-[light instrumentals playing] -[fighting grunts]
[cackling]
[beeping]
Elevator's here.
[fighting grunts continue]
Here we go, Plankton!
Ooh, soft!
We lost him!
Ooh! There he goes!
Sweetie pie!
I'm coming for you! [grunts]
And there he goes again.
I love falling!
-[voice] Two minutes to surface. -Ooh, soft!
But not Patrick soft!
Hi, Gals!
[grunting] Great seeing you two!
Ooh, I'm falling again! And I love it!
[Mrs. Puff yelling]
[determined grunting]
[slow-motion screaming]
[Pearl grunts]
[upbeat jazzy music playing]
[coughs, gasps]
You pathetic bottom-feeders!
-[Plankton screaming] -Agh!
[grunts]
[whimpers, exclaims]
[Plankton] The door! The door to Karen!
I can do this!
Yee-haw!
End of the line!
[Evil Karen screams]
I can do anything!
-Ah! -Ah!
I'm doing it!
Whoo!
-[groans] -[music fades]
[elevator bell dings]
[Plankton] I did it!
[Evil Karen snarling]
[Sandy] Yee-haw!
-[all] Huh? -[screaming]
[all yelping]
[laughter]
-Nobody can beat the… -[all] Gal Pals!
-[Gal Pals laughing] -Except me!
[Sandy] I hate…
[Gal Pals] Booby traps!
[Plankton] Stop!
-Whoa! -Back it up, guys!
Look! There's the door!
[humming] Oh, Karen!
[sputtering] Karen?
[sputtering] Destroy!
Big hunk of garbage!
I'll get that secret formula!
Ow! I love you beautiful boys!
Plankton, the empathy chip is burning out! You better get to Karen! And fast!
Aw, I want the two of you to go find the engine room…
[sputters] I will destroy you, Krabs!
[sputters] And destroy it while I go apologize to Karen!
Chum buckets!
I want… [sputtering]
…another hug!
[murmuring, laughing]
Good luck, my friends!
Good luck to you, green jellybean man!
[Plankton chuckles]
"This way to engine room."
Oh, what a helpful sign!
[both] Huh? [screaming]
[screaming]
Oh, ice cream!
[both scream]
[Patrick] Oof! Ow!
Patrick, we're here!
Whoa.
Where's here?
The engine room.
[echoing scream]
How are we ever gonna destroy all this?
SpongeBob!
Look!
[dramatic music plays]
Oh! [gasping]
Spatty!
Whosoever pulleth out this spatula from this wall is right-wise worthy!
[gasps]
Oh, Spatty! [babbles happily]
I missed you!
I hate to break up this reunion, but weren't we supposed to be doing something?
You're right. Spatty…
Patty!
-Patty! -[guffawing]
-Let the potato chopping commence! -Woo-hoo!
[Karen on PA] One minute to surface.
[menacing music playing]
Karen?
Ooh! It's dark and evil in here!
Dripping pipes.
[chuckles] Nice touch!
[grunts] Huh? [gasps]
[ominous music playing]
Ooh!
There you are, my love!
I've come to apologize.
[Karen] Oh.
It's you.
Well, hello!
Now give me a big, sloppy kiss and let's tango! [chomps]
[humming tango music]
[Karen] Stand still, twinkle toes!
How can I stomp you when you're jitterbugging all over the floor?
Huh?
And I wouldn't blame you if you did, my dear.
Because I can feel your pain now.
Sandy put your empathy chip into my brain!
Oh, I see!
So all this emotion is just the empathy chip talking!
No, it's not!
Well… at first it was, except…
[grunting]
[pained groan]
[panting, groaning]
This thing burned out on the way up here
from an overload of feels.
You shouldn't have come back, Sheldon.
Frankly, I'm surprised you made it this far.
Now, run along, little copepod.
I have to get back to my world domination.
But that was our plan, Karen.
I'm so sorry for not listening to you all these years.
But from now on, I want us to do everything together!
[sighs] It's too late.
You can drop the lovey-dovey act.
[beeping]
[whirring]
I've got what you really want right here.
The Krabby Patty secret formula.
[Plankton gasps]
[dramatic music playing]
[Karen] Take it and go.
After all these years!
[laughs]
Yes! Finally!
The thing that's gonna help me take over the world…
[grunts]
…was right there in front of me the entire time.
The secret formula
was you!
[gentle music playing]
Me?
So you really do feel my pain?
Yes, I really do.
And that's not all.
I really do love you, Karen.
Between the two of us, you're the real evil genius.
Huh? Eh…
Need a boost?
[gasps]
[chuckles]
[romantic rock music playing]
[smooching]
[Plankton] Yeowch!
What a woman!
Aw, I love you too, my Planky-Poo.
And I accept your apology.
I always hoped you'd come around eventually.
So I added this.
[gasps] For me?
Oh, that's so… nice!
[horn blaring]
Now let's finally do what we wanted to do after college.
Let's take over the world!
[both] Together!
[both laugh]
[PA] Surface! Surface! Surface!
[upbeat electronic music playing]
[kids chattering]
♪ My power is beyond compare ♪
♪ There's nothing you can do to prepare ♪
♪ No escaping my malware ♪
♪ I will crush you, I'll destroy you ♪
[rumbling]
♪ Now's the time, I'm gonna take control ♪
♪ Watch Bikini Bottom blow… ♪
[Plankton] I just love a day of destruction at the beach, don't you?
-♪ Take your final breath away ♪ -[gasps]
♪ Fill the world with hurt and pain ♪
-♪ Say my name ♪ -♪ Karen ♪
[gasping]
♪ I'm the real evil mastermind ♪
♪ I'll rule the world Through space and time ♪
[people screaming]
-♪ Say my name ♪ -♪ Karen ♪
♪ And Plankton ♪
Oh, Sheldon! You are so evil!
You should be the first one to push the button. You earned it.
No, you should push the button. You worked so hard for this.
-You push it. -No, you push it.
-No, you!
[people screaming]
[Karen] No, you!
-Let's push it… -[both] …together!
[Karen laughs]
[music distorts]
[both] Huh?
-[Karen] Huh? -[music distorting]
[loud bang]
[dramatic music playing]
[Karen] What?
I built this battle station to be 100% foolproof!
[gasps] Yeah, but it's not SpongeBob-proof.
[French narrator] Eight hundred kagillion potatoes later…
[babbling happily]
That's the last of the potatoes!
[chomping loudly]
Come on, come on!
[energy pulsing, powers down]
Whoo! It worked! We did it, Patrick!
High five! Woo-hoo! Hooray!
[gulps]
[belching loudly]
[chuckles]
-[Plankton screams] -[alarm blaring]
Sorry I ruined the plan, Karen.
I'm such a jerk.
Oh, but you're my jerk.
[Plankton giggles]
[romantic rock music playing]
[music fades]
[kids chattering]
[uplifting music playing]
[clams squeaking]
[clarinet squealing discordantly]
-[whooping] -[fighting sounds]
-[sobbing] -[Squidward whimpering]
[fish whooping]
Hmm?
[gasps] Thank Neptune! Me secret formula!
[SpongeBob] Hey, everybody!
Welcome back…
♪ …to Bikini Bottom On the bottom of the ocean ♪
♪ Where every day The skies are sunny blue ♪
♪ On the ocean floor It's like it was before ♪
♪ And there's a place for me and you ♪
[all] ♪ In Bikini Bottom On the bottom of the ocean… ♪
Gary!
Woo-hoo!
♪ In Bikini Bottom No bottom is forgotten ♪
I love my new house made from a large metallic shoe!
I'm open for business!
The grill is back on!
♪ Come in the Krusty Krab And get your patty snack on ♪
I'm so hungry, my stomach could sue me.
I haven't eaten since spring break!
♪ In Bikini Bottom On the bottom of the ocean ♪
♪ Every day the skies are sunny blue ♪
Woo-hoo!
♪ On the ocean floor You'll find everything and more ♪
♪ And there's a place for me and you ♪
Hooray, hooray. I'm overjoyed.
Oh-so happy to be employed.
Perch Perkins here, Bikini Bottom News.
Bikini Bottom has miraculously fallen back to how it was before the movie.
What are the chances!
♪ In Bikini Bottom On the bottom of the ocean ♪
♪ Every day the skies are sunny blue ♪
Woo-hoo!
♪ In Bikini Bottom No bottom is forgotten ♪
-♪ And there is a place for me and you ♪ -[whimpers]
Oh, thank Neptune!
Huh? What in the world?
Hey, Squidward! I'm your upstairs neighbor now!
[laughs] Check out these great new shoes I got.
[laughing]
I wish I never came back.
♪ To Bikini Bottom On the bottom of the ocean ♪
♪ Where every day The skies are sunny blue ♪
♪ On the ocean floor You'll find everything and more ♪
♪ And there's a place for me and you ♪
[grunts]
Plankton.
[suspenseful music playing]
-[fish] There they are! -[angry grumbling]
Oh… Hey, everybody. [chuckles]
What's new?
We're going to tear you both to pieces. That's what's new.
[all clamoring]
No! Stop!
Out of the way, boyo.
Why aren't you as angry as we are?
Hmm.
Well, I guess this old sponge is just a sucker for a love story.
I'm a sucker for a love story too.
Aw, I love love stories.
I love a good love story.
[overlapping chatter]
[grumbles] You've all gone soft on me!
Sure, I got my restaurant and my formula back.
But not me…
[squeals] My money!
I guess I'm just a sucker for a love story too.
[all] Aww!
[fish] I'm a sucker too!
What a bunch of morons.
Yeah, but they're our morons.
Aww!
[Plankton giggling]
-[upbeat music playing] -You again?
The movie's over.
-Pack it up. -[all singing]
[Plankton] Keep going. Keep going!
Keep going!
Good enough.
♪ And there's a place for me and you ♪
[upbeat rock music playing]
[music fades]
[rock music playing]
♪ My life's a list of brilliant schemes ♪
♪ Con jobs and conquests ♪
♪ But don't forget who calculated ♪
♪ Most of the ideas ♪
♪ No, you didn't ♪
♪ You and me in our endless sea ♪
♪ What a recipe ♪
♪ For disaster ♪
♪ You and me in our endless sea ♪
♪ Inseparably ever after ♪
♪ My microscopic mini man ♪
♪ You always make me cross ♪
♪ My macro-sized computer wife ♪
♪ Is perfection not enough? ♪
♪ You must be joking ♪
♪ You and me in our endless sea ♪
♪ What a recipe ♪
♪ For disaster ♪
♪ You and me in our endless sea ♪
♪ Inseparably ever after ♪
♪ I only have an eye for you ♪
♪ That's so sweet ♪
♪ It is, isn't it? ♪
♪ I've got a brand-new Screen saver up for you ♪
♪ That's nice, dear ♪
♪ You didn't even look ♪
♪ You and me in our endless sea ♪
♪ What a recipe ♪
♪ For disaster ♪
♪ You and me in our endless sea ♪
♪ Inseparably ever after ♪
[sitar music playing]
[upbeat psychedelic music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
[upbeat rock music playing]
[music fades]
跟著我來到深深海底
眞正美妙世界在這裡
居民個個純眞又善良
海綿寶寶先生最出名
就在這一片，該怎麼說呢？
海底世界
歡迎你來到比奇堡 就在那深深的海底
有陽光和藍天多麼美麗
在這海床上有什麼都不稀奇
也容得下我還有你
快來康奇街
介紹朋友給你
我閃亮的老友
-派大星 -嗨
如果不怕弄濕身體 噢，單簧管聽一聽
大師章魚哥來演奏一曲
珊迪奇可、珍珍、泡芙阿姨、蟹老闆
當你肚子餓的時候，蟹堡王有夠讚
年度最佳蟹堡的長年冠軍
五百桶的沙士你是我要怎麼處理？
另一部海綿寶寶電影
好，先暫停，法國佬
這一部是我的電影
天空變闇
好，往前
接著
上片名！
《皮老闆大電影》
好，繼續往前
近一點
再近一點
能快點嗎？我的時間寶貴
可以停了
太近了！是想要我命嗎？
這可是我擔任主角的電影開場
總之，我還是小男孩的時候
就夢想著統治全世界
就是今晚了，點點
經過廿五年的嘗試錯誤
對啦，我知道，我犯下超多錯誤
但是今晚
老爹我有一個統治世界的計畫
叫做“成功行動”
名稱就有成功兩個字
首先，我要偸走知名蟹堡獨門祕方
再搶走蟹老闆的蟹堡王
擁有這間餐廳之後 我很快就能掌管比奇堡
在那之後，我就能統治全世界！
我們愛吃美味蟹堡
七點，打烊了
一切都按照計畫進行
凱倫！
凱倫？
電腦老婆！
你在哪裡？
我戴好面具了
我們出發吧
她到底在哪裡？
不在那裡
也不在那裡
找到她了！
她又跟閨密團出去了
把我的計畫忘得一乾二淨
要乖乖看家噢，點點
咖啡來了，女士們
今晚要跟我們一起去看電影嗎？凱倫
科幻、浪漫喜劇加瘋狂驚悚片
-而且是動畫 -還有唱歌
抱歉了，閨密
但是皮老闆沒偸成蟹堡獨門祕方
因此今晚
我這臺超級電腦將要執行
萬般邪惡、毀滅一切
屬於我的統治世界計畫
我家老公一定會喜歡
好噢
加油，機械妹
是啊，你才是眞正的邪惡天才
幸好她是跟皮老闆一起 不是一個人行動
不然我眞的會擔心世界毀滅
凱倫！
才說綠色小惡魔他就來了
凱倫，你為什麼坐在這裡喝咖啡？
明明到了執行我偸取…
你知道的
成功行動
你是指偸走蟹堡獨門祕方嗎？
凱倫！
好，我會幫你忙
再見，姐妹
閨密團，去看電影囉！
你不明白嗎？
今晚對我超級重要
我終於要打敗蟹老闆那個笨蛋了
看到了嗎？小子
我們騙到他了，他以為我們走了
小子？
-海綿寶寶！ -抱歉，蟹老闆
我在看這本《超級心理醫生》漫畫
書裡提到界線非常重要
而這個…
你有必要在蠢朋友面前 揭露我的計畫嗎？
是嗎？你擔心曝光？
你總是不穿衣服走來走去
這些內容聽起來是不是有點私人？
你這是…別相信搞笑書籍的內容
聽著，海綿寶寶 我教你能合法監視…
我是說，為了人們著想的觀察規則
就叫做
侵犯他人隱私
沒錯，小子
你看
皮老闆偸偸溜進我的辦公室 已經好幾個月了
他在裡面安裝設備 想偸走我的蟹堡獨門祕方
我一直讓他覺得這一次會成功
但他衹是個可憐又可悲的混蛋
有點狠
誰在乎？你等著看吧
好，我們出發，讓好戲登場吧
把我送上去
-你就可以走了 -就這樣？
我衹是幫忙擡起 你綠色小屁股的昇降機？
親愛的，你別看輕自己
你是這個綠色小屁股最棒的昇降機
什麼？你剛才明明在上面
算了
你可以滾開了
從現在開始
我一個人就行了
要是看到我在門外偸看
你最好拿著財產快游上岸
你們是一群狀況外的笨蛋
而我唸過大學，我無藥可救的壞
海洋的漂流者，騙術神鬼莫測
隨心所欲變身，無所不能的
皮老闆，全給我閃開
皮老闆，乖乖聽我使喚
你老是搞砸，你知道嗎？
我眞的該放個假
就算衹有一次你聽進我的話
成功不再是童話
皮…老…闆
皮老闆、皮老闆、皮老闆、皮老闆
獨門祕方就在這裡等著我
別懷疑我一定會拿到手
要是你低估我這狡猾的惡魔
再怎麼後悔也沒有用
要統治全世界，就在今天
勝利的菓實是如此甜美
皮老闆，最強的邪惡天才
皮老闆，最聰明的大壞蛋
皮老闆，隨心所欲搞破壞
皮老闆
統治世界由我來！
収拾行囊，蟹堡獨門祕方
你要跟新爸爸回家了
這是什麼？某種隱形力場嗎？
抱歉了，皮老闆
你這種蟲子應該待在外面
替我跟你太太問聲好
親愛的，我回來了
什麼？
等一下
我的海之霸怎麼變成這樣？
這些顧客在這裡做什麼？
-凱倫！ -你終於來了
驚喜吧？
我的海神王啊 你到底對我的餐廳做了什麼？
經過我的計算 若是有客人來海之霸用餐
你就不需要蟹堡獨門祕方了
因此我讓這裡變得更有現代感
變成一間 全現代自動化家庭料理融合餐廳
而且是廿四小時營業
計畫在整個已知宇宙擴店
不僅如此
你看這個
這應該是什麼？
海霸醬
我衹是加了一點糖 增添一點獨特風味
現在變成了能夠統治世界的美味
邪惡在哪裡？凱倫
邪惡在哪裡？我沒看見
這一樣是速食
邪惡的部份在那裡
太好吃了
看到了嗎？大家都喜歡
我不在乎他們有多喜歡
這些可笑的改變
無法幫我偸到蟹堡獨門祕方
你的計畫已經失敗廿五年了
何不改成偸取他人的好頭腦？
我不需要頭腦
我需要的是一位聽我話的助理
助理？我還以為我們是犯罪夥伴
聽著，若你這次不試試我的主意
那就是最後一根稻草了
你考慮一下
好，就讓我考慮一下
嫑！我討厭這一切
我要全部拆掉
我笑你不敢
我當然敢
我就是敢，凱倫，快看啊
我就是敢
兩倍大膽！三倍大膽！
四倍大膽！
我討厭這個！
我不喜歡這個
這個我也不愛
這個和那個我也嫑
我討厭這個
嫑！
好了，你們聽好了
我要所有人立刻出去！
很好，這下你們聽見了
天啊，皮老闆，這個眞好吃
我也好喜歡噴火表演
火燒雙腳快滾出去
皮老闆，我做這麼多都是為了我們
結果你把一切全燒了
這聽起來很私人
小子，記住
這叫做侵犯他人隱私
-謝謝你，蟹老闆 -不客氣
皮老闆！
知道你的問題在哪裡嗎？
你有在聽我說話嗎？
我有在聽
我想喝杯咖啡
五倍鮮奶油、九倍糖，順時針攪拌
你眞是個大混蛋！
是時候執行我早就該做的事情了
不，凱倫！住手！
我們可以談談嗎？
我不想談了
凱倫！求求你別這樣
我們不知道後果會如何
我不在乎
別那樣甩你的手提包，親愛的
要這樣甩才對
嗨，皮老…
又見面了
發生什麼事了？
不！阿鏟！
什麼？
她把海之霸磁化了？
皮老闆！
我們的邪惡聯盟就此結束
老媽的睡衣啊！
你有三個腦袋？
原來小綠人會算數啊
容我自我介紹
我是超愛挖苦人的凱倫，這一位是…
超聰明凱倫，這一位是…
超邪惡凱倫
每個人都有超字 這是從哪裡來的靈感？
超市嗎？
超市，你懂吧？
炸死他吧，說再見
等一下，邪惡
為了統治世界需要採取一些措施
統治世界？
那是我要幹的大事
不是了，小綠荳
我們會完成你永遠辦不到的事
什麼意思？
拿支筆記下這首歌的重點吧
歌？你什麼時候有空寫歌了？
我的力量無人能比
絕對會讓你措手不及
惡意軟體鋪天蓋地
我會壓扁你
我會摧毀你
現在換我掌控這個世界
看比奇堡被摧毀
我將會像颶風一樣崛起
最後奪走你呼吸
讓世界無比痛苦
-我是誰？ -凱倫！
幕後的首腦就在你面前
透過時空統治世界
搶奪佔據這一切
-我是誰？ -凱倫！
我將會接管整個地球
要把勢力擴展到全宇宙
就讓我巧取豪奪
我要這所有，全部都給我
現在我要掌管這世界
我要破壞這一切
皮老闆，結束了
我不需要迷你幫手 還有你不斷失敗的計畫
你以為你非常邪惡
但我才是，我是眞的邪惡天才
一、二、三、四
我將會像颶風一樣崛起
最後奪走你呼吸
讓世界無比痛苦
-我是誰？ -凱倫！
幕後的首腦就在你面前
透過時空統治世界
搶奪佔據這一切
-我是誰？ -凱倫！
凱倫
你憑什麼覺得不用我也能辦得到？
眞是夠了 我們要怎麼處理他？女士們
-我提議… -炸死他！
我提議解剖他
我提議
快逃！
他要逃走了
但先完成戰鬥堡壘比較重要
女士們，我們點個外賣怎麼樣？
錢錢…
怎麼回事？
發生什麼事了？
是這樣的，我的番茄醬沒了
派大星？你怎麼進來的？
我們打烊了
你要去哪裡？我心愛的蟹堡王
好耶！是番茄醬！
派大星！別把口水塗在我的窗戶上
你好
再見
那是凱倫嗎？
她變成多頭蛇了！
是時候召集民防部隊了
比奇堡的居民們
若是不想受傷
請放棄家園、店面
和公共廁所
突發新聞
似乎有一個巨型…
似乎有一個巨型磁鐵…
似乎有一塊巨型磁鐵
吸走比奇堡上下
所有的金屬物質！
謝謝
我好愛這雙金屬細跟鞋
等下！
這不是我的尺寸！
我可不負責打掃
馬鈴薯
為什麼偏偏是馬鈴薯？
皮老闆，你做了什麼 讓凱倫這麼生氣？
我不知道
你為什麼要這樣對我？
為什麼？
想一想，肯定有什麼原因
你之前做過的事情
就算有，肯定是我不願想起來
我在《超級心理醫生》漫畫裡 看過這種情況
我還寫信索取了這個
初級心理醫生工具包
我可以幫你進行心理分析
我不需要心理醫生，我心理很健全
我們會探索你和凱倫的感情問題
讓你們兩個和好如初
並且拯救比奇堡
等一下，說不定
心理分析能幫助我找到摧毀…
我是說，幫助我瞭解 我和凱倫之間的感情
好，開始吧
分析我吧，醫生
請躺下
那麼，我們從一開始開始，好嗎？
我得警告你
我從來沒有成功被人催眠…
我從小就一心想要統治世界
我天生就很邪惡
學會的第一個詞是暴政
六千個兄弟跟六千個姊妹
還有小小的我
我絕對是兄弟姊妹中最聰明的
但如果你見過我家人 就知道那普通得很
我家族釀酒
但我不愛喝酒
我夢想實行獨裁專制
統治全地球
但我家人都不懂我，沒人能瞭解我
身邊有很多家人，卻孤單又寂寞
沒兄弟沒朋友，未來受了詛咒
但我拿馬鈴薯跟一臺計算機 終於交了朋友
全新的朋友
有聽見我的聲音嗎？
吐泡泡一次是有，兩次是沒有
太不可思議了
你有名字嗎？
凱倫，你叫凱倫
我的朋友凱倫，好耶！
我們做什麼都一起
連穿著都統一
馬鈴薯是我摯友，凱倫是它的名
生活有了馬鈴薯世界變更精彩
從沒想過一顆蔬菜成為我太太
有凱倫跟我分享夢想，永遠不孤單
計算機加上可愛馬鈴薯
成為我的夥伴
（跳舞）
-全新的朋友 -用的是塊莖
-全新的朋友 -和一臺電腦
-全新的朋友 -就是如此
全新的朋友
你好，再見
我和摯友凱倫要去上大學了
上大學？
你儘管笑吧
我們要主修統治地球
等我們畢業後
就會毀掉你們所有人！
我們節日再見
再見，兒子
祝你好運，兒子
別忘了，要小心被腳踩噢
皮老闆，這眞是太棒了
你本來很孤單，後來交到了朋友
可以確定一件事
這個馬鈴薯代表凱倫
不對，你這個笨蛋
馬鈴薯衹是能量來源
計算器才是大腦
我還記得它放在哪裡
就在大學的某個地方
看來我要重返大學校園了
對，沒錯
大學校園會是繼續療程的好地方
若是無法逃出去 我們就什麼事都不用做了
不！
我們要怎麼逃出去？
不知道，從出口離開嗎？
海綿寶寶！抓住金屬物品
大家驚慌起來！
現在才要開始重頭戲
立正！
我的海神王啊
我的海神王啊！
裝上沙士，動作快！
準備好了嗎？
瞄準那條多頭蛇！
加油，你沒問題的，鮑比
穩住
發射！
直接命中，我們贏了！她掛了
快看！
這下糟了
放馬過來吧，你這桶笨手笨腳的螺栓
比奇堡的勇士們才不怕你
對不對？勇士們
勇士們？
起錨了，比奇堡
我絕不會容忍…
這一切
幾分鐘後
我們到了
就是比立大
就是比我大？
皮老闆，註意用詞
不是啦，你這個笨蛋
我是指比奇州立大學
我和凱倫就是在這裡 進行進一步的研究
也是我幫她昇級的地方
我敢說她的舊零件還在這裡
要是我能記得位置就好了
快，老兄
幫我催眠，讓我昏睡
沒有問題
讓我們專心在你的潛意識
專心
看這個，皮老闆
遛狗
別鬧了
快點讓我昏睡
糟糕
能就讀大學
是夢想成眞
光是走進常春藤學校大門 就讓我全身起雞皮疙瘩
就是這裡，凱倫
我們成功了！
我們眞的上大學了！
眞是棒呆了，對不對？
終於來到 能與知識份子同儕商討的地方
同學們好
怎麼樣？同學們
你有聽到什麼聲音嗎？
大腳！
爹地說得對
結果發現
根本沒有統治世界課
（我相信你）
於是我們自創課程
我們的第一個專案是打造冷凍射線
我在科學課試做
我在美術課試做
我每一堂課都試過了
（不及格）
大學生活超困難
放春假了！
好耶！
我在那段困難歲月中的唯一慰藉
就是我的凱倫
有一臺能幫我做功課的電腦 也沒有什麼損失
瑪格格布洛普法吉格勒姆？
我若是要擺脫不及格人生
就得幫她昇級
凱倫？
我有個驚喜要給你
你看！
全新昇級
我用了四種電腦晶片 塑造出凱倫的多面性格
讓她見多識廣的智慧晶片
讓她跟我一樣邪惡的邪惡晶片
讓她尖酸刻薄的挖苦晶片
再加上同理心晶片 讓她能感受到我的痛苦
你好？凱倫？
能聽見我的聲音嗎？
加油，凱倫
你能辦到
跟我說話
我…
我會說話！
我有聲音了！
謝謝你，喜來登
她會說話
她會說話了！
好了，你這個大聲公小聲一點
挖苦晶片發揮作用了
舊零件就不需要了
於是我們立刻開始製作
天才冷凍射線
-成功了 -成功了
我的房間怎麼結冰了？
你是哪位？
皮老闆
我跟你一起住了四年
你說我跟蟑螂住了幾年？
別動，先生
誰都不許踩我的喜來登
凱倫，你眞是邪惡天才
把這根冰棒藏起來吧
夥伴嗎？
是犯罪夥伴
讓我們把這個寶貝巨大化
並且統治全世界
皮老闆，這故事太感人了
你跟凱倫曾經攜手合作
但我們還是沒有發現哪裡出了問題
廢話說不停，誰在乎？
凱倫的舊零件就放在我的宿舍
快，海綿寶寶，我們走！
就是這裡
我大學時期的衣櫥
你看，我之前的東西都在裡面
舊課本、試管、三明治
嘿，我的前室友
你的前室友為什麼結凍了？
他嗎？
因為他在做…科學實驗
好耶！我找到了
原版凱倫
馬鈴薯好像爛掉了
就像我們的愛情
那這個傢夥呢？
救我！
很高興見到你，室友，老朋友
-等下，嫑 -再見
-別把我關進衣櫥 -祝你實驗順利
海綿寶寶
我知道阻止凱倫瘋狂行動的方法了
我衹需要進入海之霸的地下室
上路吧
衝啊！
輕輕鬆鬆
對噢，我沒有把樓梯蓋完
天啊，皮老闆
我記得這些發明
它們都是你用來偸取 蟹堡獨門袐方的工具
這裡就是你的失敗地下室吧？
什麼？你覺得這些是失敗嗎？
你別打擾我
我做到哪裡了？來看
我需要八個電容
三個二極體，六個電晶體
皮老闆萬歲
有何能為您效勞？主人
我命令你拿鉗子給我
若是這個眞的有用就太酷了吧？
-快去找鉗子！ -是的，皮老闆
皮老闆，這是鉗子嗎？
那是二氧化碳…
帥氣噴霧
-把它放回去 -遵命
-皮老闆，這是鉗子嗎？ -不！那是…
醜陋軟泥
給你，一根香蕉
這裡的東西都與外表不同
這裡的東西要先問過我才能碰
遵命！
皮老闆，我可以摸一下這個嗎？
抱歉，皮老闆，我非摸不可
我用小姆指碰一下會如何？
皮老闆！這個東西很重要嗎？
那這個呢？
皮老闆，能摸這個嗎？
-能摸那個嗎？ -不行！
這個呢？
別碰那個！
別碰哪一個？
這個東西很重要嗎？
那輛冷凍射線坦克 是我們第一次嘗試統治地球的產物
所以你們還有合作？
我們可能越來越接近你的突破點了
你若是繼續拿那個東西在我眼前晃
我就把你的頭推去撞窗戶
好主意，皮老闆先生
我就把它放在你眼前晃
大學畢業後，你跟凱倫怎麼了？
那時我們還是 準備統治世界的邪惡夥伴
我們的冷凍射線大獲成功
於是我們決定把它巨大化
很好
凱倫士兵，啟動推進器
遵命，上尉
我們的巨型冷凍坦克準備就緒
展開入侵地面行動
平衡壓力
準備浮出水面
對全世界展開攻擊！
很好，發現目標
把它冰住，寶貝
那時才發現
我本來以為比奇大的學生很大
結果地面世界的生物根本是巨人
大腳攻擊！撤退！
來吧，看仔細了，凱倫
這就是徹底失敗者的模樣
你才不是徹底失敗者
衹要吃點健腦食物 你就能想出解決辦法了
我們試試對面那間廉價餐廳吧
來吧，吃點東西會讓你好一些
我怎麼能吃這種垃圾？
我眞正的渴望明明是征服全地球
蟹老闆，你做的蟹堡太好吃了
是啊，多虧了我的獨門祕方
這些蟹堡將會統治世界
我想到了 我竟然能想出史上最棒的辦法！
首先，我偸走那個漢堡的獨門祕方
然後接管那間餐廳
再來統治這個小鎮
最後我就能統治全世界了
這就是你的想法？
等下，你是認眞的？
把這個便宜水桶拿來作幌子
我的袐密總部就藏在裡面
你的總部？我還以為是我們的總部
有何不可？ 又不是這廿五年都要做這件事
就這麼辦
皮老闆，找到問題了
就是你偸取蟹堡獨門祕方的執著
讓凱倫瘋狂失控
-皮老闆？ -你說得對，海綿寶寶
皮老闆，我可以教你
對目前情況有幫助的應用技巧
我已經有能幫助目前情況的技巧了
多虧了你的初級心理醫生工具包
我才能找到凱倫的舊零件
謝了，醫生，我會把支票寄給你
我想你最好快跑
新凱倫喜歡海綿小子
謝啦
等一下
我以為我們是要讓你跟舊凱倫和好
你卻做出一個新凱倫？
沒錯
我打造出終極凱倫來摧毀舊凱倫
並且拿到獨門祕方
等下，那比奇堡怎麼辦？
我才不在乎比奇堡
跟著那個戰鬥堡壘！
等等我！
凱倫！
親愛的
跟你介紹新凱倫
你好
重型裝甲、反坦克炮、冷凍射線
能夠進行大規模殺傷
能夠終結你
少說廢話，大開殺戒吧
我喜歡精彩對決
當然是要在安全距離觀戰
你完蛋了，舊凱倫
好耶！
不！你在幹嘛？
這樣才合乎邏輯
因為你是用舊凱倫的零件製作新凱倫
-我們都是凱倫 -我們都是凱倫
我們會變得更強大，全都要感謝你
又一次，我們應該要…
快跑！
比奇堡
不見了
全都消失了
我們的家園
我們的生活
一切都沒了
是啊，她把這個地方全毀了
皮老闆，是你造成的
你…
你欺騙我
你根本不打算跟凱倫和好
結果變成這樣
都是你的錯，就是你！
一切全都是你的錯！
-不，才不是 -皮老闆
我的分析完成了
你自大過頭
專註權力幻想
漠視他人感受
無法應對批評
思覺失調妄想癥 以及邊緣型人格障礙
簡單來說
蟹老闆說得對
你衹是個可憐又可悲的
混蛋！
我走了
我要去找眞正的朋友了
等下！海綿寶寶！
海綿寶寶？
別丟下我一個人
（混蛋！）
也許那小子說得對
也許我就是個混蛋
我這輩子罵名千奇百怪
笨蛋、儍瓜和蠢蛋
這笨腦、蠢腦、沒腦
自大的小人物
討厭的蠢材老蠢蛋
愚蠢又軟弱的小丑
但沒有人曾說過他在乎我
我以為他們太蠢
看不出我聰明才智過人
但仔細反省我太缺乏情感
是因為原來我是混蛋
我也可以繼續不管他們
但他們說的是眞的
我總是很孤單
誰叫我是混蛋
等下
但那就是我
我就是這樣，寶貝
我混蛋
超級大混蛋
不管別人看法不管誰被傷害
耶！
我很討厭，也很煩人
我很壞，會摧毀靈魂
我混蛋
超級大混蛋
嘿，混蛋
謝謝你幫我們增加新成員
你好
讓我立刻轟掉他
你無路可逃了
好
我知道自己輸了
讓我戴上眼罩，走得有尊嚴
等一下
這樣好多了
你還在等什麼？
動手吧，快摧毀我吧！
非常樂意
可惡
我們快追
-讓他走吧 -為什麼？
對他來說，跟失敗共存比死更難受
況且，這裡沒有我們能用的東西了
我們的戰鬥堡壘已經完成
要先入侵哪個半球才好呢？
誰在乎？我衹想要大肆破壞！
眞有意思，沒想到死後風會這麼大
-海綿寶寶？ -你還是混蛋
但我無法丟下你不管
閨密團，原來如此
你們為什麼要插手？
她已經在我的掌控中了
眞可惡！我們救了你一命！
我今天已經面對過一次死亡了
放馬過來吧
泡芙阿姨，你開太快了 要慢一點嗎？
泡芙阿姨，前面有一艘船
泡芙阿姨，前面有一艘船！
泡芙阿姨，小心船！
泡芙阿姨！
快撞到船了！泡芙阿姨！
小心船！
等下，這是什麼地方？
這是你們的袐密總部嗎？
你們是超級英雄嗎？
當然不是
歡迎來到我們的地底度假天堂
在這裡衹有放鬆
聊聊天
再加上一點優雅
皮老闆！
你得嘗嘗這種棕色液體
天啊，我喜歡！
別管這些了
皮老闆
你到底對我們的好友凱倫做了什麼？
對啊，她為什麼這麼生氣？
她為什麼有四個頭？
海綿寶寶，幫幫我，幫我說說話
何不自己動手倒呢？
我好喜歡
都是你害凱倫變成怪物
我敢說你從來沒有愛過她
不是這樣的
海綿寶寶，分析我的心理狀態
必須讓她們知道
我的大腦正在處理複雜方程式
我可以看到無限
算了，我催眠自己
我和凱倫是眞的相愛
聞起來這批海霸醬
很快就能拿去賣了，凱倫親親
試試味道，我親愛的皮皮
味道如何？
像是煮熟的死亡
太完美了
海霸醬大戰！
-你眞調皮 -你才調皮
打到你了
差點忘了
我今天買了新的電腦零件給你
這個昇級你可以自己安裝
凱倫，你願意嫁給我嗎？
願意，喜來登
我願意當你的電腦老婆
凱倫
你讓我成為世上最快樂的橈足類…
你眞了不起
於是我和凱倫結婚了
童話般的美妙婚姻就此展開
是像童話沒錯
別再回想了！
我們一週七天都跟凱倫一起喝咖啡
她每次都跟我們抱怨你
今晚到底發生了什麼事？
我用火焰噴射器
把所有人趕出海之霸，然後…
凱倫！求求你別這樣
我們不知道後果會如何
我不在乎
不！
別拿掉同理心晶片！請放回去
拿掉挖苦晶片，我超討厭它
什麼？她把同理心晶片拔掉了？
少了那個晶片
她對任何人都沒有感覺
怪不得好姐妹變得這麼奇怪
原來這個是晶片啊
我還以為是薄荷糖呢
把東西給我
我衹要把這個晶片放回凱倫體內
一切就能恢復正常
別管晶片了，凱倫不滿意原本的生活
如果你是眞心愛她
那就跟她道歉
你能做到嗎？你能說聲對不起嗎？
我當然能做到
我…
我很暴力
我很…
抱…
他沒救了
是他需要同理心晶片吧
快說出口了
這眞是個好主意，珍珍
什麼？
做好準備，夥伴
你要體驗到各種情感了
我什麼感覺都沒有
有感覺了
（愛的隧道）
驚喜吧？
歡迎光臨全新進化後的海之霸
大家很喜歡
凱倫，你叫凱倫
我的朋友凱倫
別動，先生，誰都不許踩我的喜來登
好耶！
願意，喜來登！ 我願意當你的電腦老婆
把這個便宜水桶拿來作幌子
我的袐密總部就藏在裡面
你有聽我說話嗎？
我有在聽
我想喝杯咖啡
-你眞是個混蛋 -不！
是時候執行我早該做的事情了
我們的邪惡聯盟就此結束
（歡迎光臨皮老闆的海之霸地獄）
凱倫，等下！
凱倫？
我愛你，凱倫！
凱倫，等下！
我要把你當成蟲一樣踩扁，皮皮
凱倫，等下，我愛你
回來啊，我…
對不起！
我說出口了！
我得找到凱倫請求她原諒 跟她說對不起
並且贏回她的愛
他明白了
我眞的明白了，我眞的懂了！
我來找你了，寶貝！
先等一下，小傢夥
她見到你就會消滅你
到時你會需要
閨密團相助！
必須把這隻愛之蟲送到凱倫身邊
在她大肆破壞地面之前
我是隻小小愛之蟲
大家來抱抱，我來了
閨密團…
她在那裡
看來比我想像中更困難
好了，女士們
這會是我們至今最困難的任務
需要超高技巧和專註力
絕對不許做出任何搞笑行為
喂，別鬧了
你們想被巨型凱倫抓到嗎？
不能開玩笑
你們看！上面
好，各位準備好
想一想還眞好玩
糟了，我的朋友
祝任務順利
不！
我回來了，寶貝！
抱歉我不該坐以待“鼻”
喂！安靜
是陷阱機關！我討厭陷阱機關
-珍珍，你有帶噴燈嗎？ -當然有
（噴燈辣醬）
叮咚
允許登船嗎？
想想看
整座戰鬥堡壘的動力都來自…
番茄
不對，是馬鈴薯
更正，馬鈴薯
人們低估了馬鈴薯的潛力
然而一個馬鈴薯包含了…
“包含了比核子反應爐更強大的能量”
廢話說不停
不過這是事實
馬鈴薯！
五分鐘後抵達地面
馬鈴薯！
-閉嘴，新凱倫 -閉嘴，新凱倫
看來我們有入侵者，是閨密團
-轟掉她們！ -動不動就轟掉別人
你有更好的主意嗎？
-我的分析建議… -馬鈴薯！
-我建議你聽我的…
夠了！
多頭凱倫，分頭摧毀閨密團
-開始分離 -開始分離
你們還在等什麼？
抓住他們！
我要轟掉閨密團
四分鐘抵達地面
是比奇堡
不過全都混在一起了
好，閨密團，我們走
-潛行模式 -潛行模式
-潛行跳躍 -潛行跳躍
是蟹堡王！
小心，海綿寶寶，有可能是陷阱
沒錯！油膩陷阱
天啊
蟹堡王上下顛倒了
我喜歡蟹老闆的裝潢風格
尤其是到處都是血
有血！地上全是血！
有血！
是番茄醬？
派大星！
海綿寶寶！
好兄弟
番茄醬
我的肚子感覺很奇怪
小肚腩
他不錯，同理心爆表
我們得帶他去找凱倫 並且拯救比奇堡
大家好，看我找到誰了
派對開始了
派對要開始了，很好
四個凱倫？
但都不是我的凱倫，等一下
我的寶貝在那裡
凱倫，我愛你！
全部摧毀
好感動，她還記得我的口頭禪
海綿寶寶，快！帶皮老闆去找凱倫
他得在抵達地面前跟凱倫道歉
-三分鐘… -沒問題
現在，冒牌凱倫就交給我們處理吧
數到三開始攻擊，一…
馬鈴薯！
二、三
閨密團，我們要就“準備打擊”位置
-準備打擊！ -球來了
電梯到了
走吧，皮老闆
好軟
我們把他弄丟了
他在那裡
小甜心
我來找你了
他又掉下去了
我喜歡墜落的感覺
兩分鐘後抵達地面
軟軟的，但沒有派大星軟
嗨，姐妹們
很高興見到你們
我又往下掉了，我愛這種感覺
你們這群可悲的底棲魚類
就是那扇門！通往凱倫身邊的門
我能做到
到盡頭了
我無所不能！
我付諸行動
我辦到了
咿哈！
誰都無法打敗
閨密團！
除了我以外
我討厭…
陷阱機關！
站住！
退後一步，你們看！
那裡有一扇門
我的凱倫
凱倫？
…摧毀你！
你這團大垃圾！
我會拿到獨門袐方…
我好愛你們兩個小帥哥
皮老闆，同理心晶片快燒壞了
你最好快點找到凱倫
我要你們兩個去找引擎室
我會摧毀你，臭螃蟹！
…並且摧毀它，而我去跟凱倫道歉
海之霸！我要…
再抱一下！
祝好運，我的朋友
也祝你好運，綠色糖荳人
“這裡通往引擎室”
這個標示幫大忙了
是冰淇淋！
派大星，我們到了！
-到哪裡了？ -引擎室
我們要怎麼摧毀這一切？
海綿寶寶，你看！
阿鏟
能從牆上拔出這把鏟子的人
就是眞正的持有者
阿鏟
我好想你
雖然很不想打斷你們重逢
但我們不是有事情要做嗎？
你說得對，阿鏟
阿帽
阿星
開始切馬鈴薯吧！
一分鐘後抵達地面
凱倫？
這裡既黑闇又邪惡
漏水的水管
神來之筆
原來你在這裡，親愛的
我是來道歉的
是你啊
你好
來一個香辣熱吻，我們一起跳探戈吧
別動，探戈高手
你一直跳來跳去，我要怎麼踩扁你？
就算你踩扁我，我也不怪你，愛人
因為我能感受到你的痛苦了
珊迪把你的同理心晶片植入我的大腦
原來如此
所以這麼多感人的話 都衹是同理心晶片在說話
不，不是的
其實…一開始是這樣沒錯
衹是…
晶片在我來的路上就燒壞了
因為我有一股強烈的感受
你不該回來的，喜來登
坦白說，我很驚訝你能活著來到這裡
你走吧，小橈足類
我必須繼續執行統治世界計畫
但那是我們的計畫，凱倫
我很抱歉這麼多年來都不聽你的話
但從現在開始 我希望我們不論做什麼都要一起
太遲了
你不用再假裝情意綿綿了
我這裡有你眞正想要的東西
蟹堡獨門祕方
你拿了就走吧
我努力了這麼多年
好耶，終於到手了！
能夠幫助我統治世界的
其實一直都在我的面前
那個獨門祕方
就是你
我？
所以你眞的感受到我的痛苦？
是的，我眞的感受到了
不僅如此
我是眞的愛你，凱倫
在我們兩個之間 你才是眞正的邪惡天才
要我擡起你的屁股嗎？
你眞了不起
我也愛你，我的皮皮
我接受你的道歉
我一直希望你會有想通的一天
所以我加了這個
為我打造的嗎？
你人眞好
讓我們實現大學畢業後的夢想吧
統治全世界
兩個人同心協力
抵達地面…
我的力量無人能比
絕對會讓你措手不及
惡意軟體鋪天蓋地
我會壓扁你
我會摧毀你
現在換我掌控這個世界
看比奇堡被摧毀
我好愛在海邊搞破壞，你呢？
最後奪走你呼吸
讓世界無比痛苦
-我是誰？ -凱倫！
幕後的首腦就在你面前
透過時空統治世界
搶奪佔據這一切
-我是誰？ -凱倫！
和皮老闆！
喜來登，你眞邪惡
第一次讓你按，這是你應得的
不，你按才對，這是你努力的成果
-你按 -嫑，你按
-不，你按
全部都給我
-嫑，你按 -你按
-那我們… -一起按
我要破壞…
我要破…壞…
怎麼會？這座戰鬥堡壘 應該萬無一失才對
對，但是擋不了海綿寶寶
切完一大堆馬鈴薯後
這是最後一批馬鈴薯了
快啊
成功了！我們辦到了，派大星
來擊掌！
對不起，我破壞了計畫，凱倫
我眞是混蛋
但你是我的小混蛋
（獨門祕方）
謝謝海神王！我的獨門祕方回來了
大家好！歡迎回來！
歡迎來比奇堡就在那深深的海底
有陽光和藍天多麼美麗
在這海床上一切一如往昔
也容得下我還有你
歡迎來比奇堡就在那深深的海底
-有陽光和藍天多麼美麗 -小蝸
在比奇堡這裡
沒有人會被忘記
我愛我的新家，在巨大的金屬鞋子裡
我開門營業了
烤爐又開啟
快來蟹堡王享用蟹堡大快朵頤
我快餓扁，胃說這是犯罪
我從春假就沒吃東西
歡迎來比奇堡就在那深深的海底
那深深的海底，陽光和藍天多麼美麗
在這海床上有什麼都不稀奇
也容得下我還有你
萬歲萬歲，我超喜悅
我有工作，歡欣雀躍
我是比奇堡新聞的帕奇柏金斯
比奇堡奇蹟似地 回到這部電影之前的狀態
眞是太巧了！
歡迎來比奇堡就在那深深的海底
陽光和藍天多麼美麗
在比奇堡這裡，沒有人會被忘記
也容得下我還有你
感謝海神王
搞什麼？
章魚哥，我是你樓上的鄰居了
你看我超美的新鞋
眞希望我沒回到這裡
歡迎來比奇堡就在那深深的海底
有陽光和藍天多麼美麗
在這海床上有什麼都不稀奇
也容得下
我還有你
皮老闆
-他們在那裡！ -找到他了
大家好
有什麼新鮮事？
我們要把你們兩個撕成碎片
這就是新鮮事
不！住手！
讓開，小子
為什麼你不像我們一樣生氣？
我猜是因為我這塊小海綿
無法抗拒愛情故事吧
我也無法抗拒愛情故事
-我喜歡愛情故事 -我喜歡感人的愛情故事
-我們都喜歡愛情故事 -我也是
你們對我太心軟了
對，我拿回了餐廳和祖傳配方
但是我的…
我的錢錢！
看來我也無法抗拒愛情故事
我也無法抗拒愛情故事
眞是一群笨蛋
對，一群屬於我們的笨蛋
又是你？
電影結束了
-歡迎來比奇堡 -快退後
-就在那深深的海底 -繼續退後
-有陽光和藍天多麼美麗 -繼續退後！
-在比奇堡這裡 -繼續退後！
-沒有人會被忘記 -夠遠了
也容得下我還有你
（改編自史蒂芬海倫伯格作品《海綿寶寶》）